Philippians 2:19-30

Now I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon so that I too may be encouraged by news about you. For I have no one else like-minded who will genuinely care about your interests; all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know his proven character, because he has served with me in the gospel ministry like a son with a father. Therefore, I hope to send him as soon as I see how things go with me. I am confident in the Lord that I myself will also come soon. But I considered it necessary to send you Epaphroditus—my brother, coworker, and fellow soldier, as well as your messenger and minister to my need—since he has been longing for all of you and was distressed because you heard that he was sick. Indeed, he was so sick that he nearly died. However, God had mercy on him, and not only on him but also on me, so that I would not have sorrow upon sorrow. For this reason, I am very eager to send him so that you may rejoice again when you see him and I may be less anxious. Therefore, welcome him in the Lord with great joy and hold people like him in honor, because he came close to death for the work of Christ, risking his life to make up what was lacking in your ministry to me.

For me, it’s easy to glide through passages like we just read. I can think that’s not for me. Paul was just talking about his friends, what’s going on in his circumstances, let’s move on.

In fact, there are many times when I’m reading scripture and I can kind of gloss over some section that may seem irrelevant to me at the time. And over the past few months, as I’ve been reading through Philippians in preparation for our time together, I’ve found myself glossing over this. Even last time I spoke, I didn't plan on spending much time here.

But last night, this passage hit me different.

Recently, I’ve been going through a bit of a rough spot in my war on sin and fight for faith.

One of my best friends has walked away from the faith his parents raised him with and given in to the hunger for understanding. I don’t blame him. There is a lot that doesn’t make sense about Christianity's past and present, and even things in the Bible that are very difficult to believe.

In my talks with him over the past few months, I found myself drawn into this introspective place myself, with the desire to figure these questions out. I wanted answers to the questions in my mind about the origins of mankind, and I wanted to understand it all.

In this questioning of my mind, I began to doubt, and with that doubt came sin. The verse my pastor used to describe this was from Hebrews 3:13

“But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called 'today,' that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”

I found myself being hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. This sin was what was the cause of the doubting, not the other way around, like I had supposed.

As I ponder this passage, I am thinking about friendship tonight.

We were made for friendship.

My friend has always been a close friend, and I’ll always consider him a real friend, and because of that, what he’s going through hurts me.

Paul was speaking about a couple close friends- Timothy and Epaphroditus, and other close friends- the group of people who loved and trusted in Jesus at Philippi. There was one friend who Paul could say was like-minded with him, who truly cared about his friends in Philippi. And that Timothy would get word to the friends at Philippi, and that he would return with news to encourage Paul.

If you do a search on Google about friendship, you may get an AI overview like my wife did today. Here’s what it said:

AI:

“You become like the people you spend the most time with because social interactions powerfully influence your beliefs, habits, and behaviors.
This phenomenon is supported by social learning theory, which states that people learn and adopt behaviors by observing others.
Your social circle can affect your mindset, lifestyle, health, and even your success.
️How you become like your friends️
•Observation and imitation: You unconsciously observe and model the behaviors, attitudes, and emotional reactions of those around you.
•Shared habits: Close friends and family members often adopt each other's habits, whether they are good or bad.
•Mindset and beliefs: The energy and attitudes of your social network can shape your own mindset, which in turn impacts your growth and values.
•Health and lifestyle: Studies show that behaviors like smoking or gaining weight can be contagious among friends.
•Success: The people you associate with can determine your future success, as surrounding yourself with ambitious and supportive people can make your goals easier to achieve.
Why it matters
Intentionality is key: Being intentional about your closest relationships is one of the most important things you can do for your personal development because your social environment is a powerful force that shapes you. 
Perception is reality: Even if you don't agree with the negative behaviors of your friends, others may associate you with them through "guilt by association," impacting your reputation and how you are perceived.
Choosing wisely: To improve yourself, seek out people who inspire and challenge you to be better. Conversely, if someone is bringing you down, it may be necessary to spend less time with them or cut ties.”

This is merely a synopsis of basic wisdom. In fact, you may find a link to an article on the American Psychological Association’s website entitled “The science of why friendships keep us healthy.”

This article states that people who have friends and close confidants are more satisfied with their lives and even less likely to suffer from depression!

Do you think this is news to God?

From the very beginning of Creation, God created in us one thing that was not good. Being alone.

In this passage in Philippians, we see that the plan of God for us is to live life together, in real friendships.

We were made for laying our lives down

Personally, when I think about friendship, I often look at how others are treating me pretty quickly.

This week, I participated in a software tech hackathon. A hackathon is a type of group activity where you get together with a bunch of other people and try to "hack" something together. It was a lot of fun.

Well, being me, I shared what I did with a few folks, hoping for them to say something about it. Nobody said a thing!

This morning, I was pretty down about it, in fact, and found myself sinfully exclaiming how, why am I always the one asking my friends about their projects and work, and how sometimes no one really cares about the work I do.

This here is a great example of selfish friendship.

If you read verses 20-24, again, you can read that a true friendship is one of giving.

I was thinking only of what I get, how I feel, and how I am.

The gospel friendship we see here in Philippians is something entirely different. This friendship is one that is rooted in the work of Jesus, the one who left infinite glory to come to earth, live a humble life, and ultimately die on the cross for his friends.

Verse 21 clearly shows that when we are focused on our own interests, they are in opposition to the interests of Jesus!

You can see in all of these verses that Paul and Timothy, and Epaphroditus, all had one thing in common. They genuinely cared for their friends. They were laying their lives down for their friends who trusted in Jesus, because Jesus laid his life down for them.

We are made to honor

One last point I want to share this evening is on the passage 25-30. Epaphroditus had gone through an incredibly hard time; he had been so sick he had nearly died. And in this passage, Paul was not being as dramatic as we are. He was stating a fact. In those days, sickness often caused death, which is why the average lifespan in those days was 30-35 years. Not because people could not live to 90, but because they often didn’t due to disease.

Paul says he was sending Epaphroditus, and that the friends should honor him.

I believe that God desires each of us tonight to honor each other.

Our natural selfish tendency is to do the opposite of this. We quickly minimize what someone else has gone through, or make up reasons as to why they are the way they are.

1 Peter 2:17 states this- “Honor everyone. Love the brothers and sisters. Fear God. Honor the emperor.”

That is our calling as Christians. When we see good in others, we are to honor them.

So, tonight, let’s start seeking true friendships. Not ones based on what we get from the other person, but ones where we can lay our life down, honor, and give of ourselves.

And that may look like hurting with an old friend.

Let’s end with the words of Jesus:

John 15:12–15 CSB

“This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father."